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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Who Will I Be?

I'm back!!!!!!!!! My board exams are over!! And I'm bored! My mom says I need to decide what I want to become when I grow up! For the longest time I've wanted to be a writer but Mamma says you don't need a degree to become a writer but I can't imagine myself being anything else! I don't see myself as a lawyer, or a doctor, or anything as a matter of fact! I just see myself writing! Suddenly, I have to make a choice about my entire future! It's so much harder than it seems! Life is moving so fast, that I don't even have time to stop and smell the flowers! It's barely sunk in that I am no longer a part of Gitanjali Devshala, I no longer go to the same school with my friends, I may never see some of them again. And what frightens me the most is what if they don't like me at my new school? What if they think I'm odd? While most people want to find themself, I have a pathological desire to escape! Questions constantly come into my mind- what if I'm not able to adjust, what if no one likes me, what if, what if, what if? So many questions and I don't know who can answer them. What if? That's such a common question that we ask ourselves, right? What if I had not lied, what if I hadn't given up, what if I hadn't yelled...... So many questions, so little time!
How does one expect to find themselves in the midst of such chaos? Forget about anyone, what about me? I'm 16 years old and I don't even know how to plait my own hair! Shameful, right? And to top it all off, my sister is leaving for IIFT in July, what am i going to do without her? Who is going to tell me what to wear? Who is going to call me the odd names she has reserved for me? Who is going to bug the hell out of me? Who am I going to be without her? Maybe it's time for a little introspection. And I've got nothing but time! See you soon!

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Sorry I Went Missing!

I know, I know, I'm a bad blogger! But you can't blame me, my board exams were going on! I still have one left - economic applications! But the best part is I'm done with science! I no longer have to care about the principle of a generator nor do I have to know what the characteristics of various acids are, and last but not the least I need not remember what happens during photosynthesis! I know without plants we won't survive but do we have to study it in detail? I know that the very definition of science is the way the world works but I don't want to understand the way the world works! Why can't some things just remain a mystery? Doesn't it make them all the more beautiful? Why do we human beings have to break everything apart to figure out how it works? And then ruin it! The world is not a cuckoo clock! I almost broke into a jig the day I got done with physics! I come from a family of science lovers! My grandma loves telling the story of my sister on the swing asking how she came back to her original position! Mamma says I don't like science because I don't understand it and to an extent it's probably true but I've never thought I was worse off not understanding it. In many ways I'm extremely different from the rest of my family, at least when it comes to favourite subjects! I love History and literature! And my sister, even though she didn't continue with science still loves the subject. Same is the case with my grandparents! My mom, to some extent, is more normal than the rest but she believes if she tried to understand the subject again, she will definitely love it! ( by that, I mean physics!) So, here I am this little oddball, in the midst of my science loving family! Sorry my post was kind of random, nothing's really on my mind at the moment! So, I hope I write again soon! Maybe you'll see me on the 26th! So, till then, BYE!