The Foremost Thing On My Mind

I wonder why I haven't posted in such a long time. I really am very lazy. Well, I've begun my second year of college and I've started going to the gym, because according to my mom, I was growing to be the size of a hippo. I might be exaggerating a tad bit. It's been horribly hot in Hyderabad, even though it's supposed to be monsoon season. It's almost as if the rain gods, if they exist, are mad at us. Forgive me if I sound disjointed. I really am wondering about what I should write. I guess the foremost thing on my mind is the way I look. I know it sounds narcissistic, but what can I do when people all around me are giving me advice about my skin, about my body? What prompted me to join the gym was a lehenga in which my love handles looked like two lumps of jiggly cake batter. It's true what they say, a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. Why is looking our best so important to all of us? We can try to deny it, but looks do matter. Not as much as brains and intellect, but good looks do wonders for your self esteem, for your confidence. And honestly, who feels like crap when you try on a dress and it's too tight? You. I remember tears coming into my eyes when I looked into the mirror and my mom didn't really help with her look of horror at the amount of weight I'd put on.
Looking your best shouldn't just be for some boy you like. Looking your best should be for you. Harping on my Psychology teacher, we must first learn to love ourselves before we expect others to love us. I can't help but wonder when that day will come when I look in the mirror and I'm truly happy with what I see.
A half-hearted attempt, but something. I promise the next one will be better.Fingers crossed!