Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Being a student of psychology, we are told about a number of personality disorders, both minor and major. In my opinion, all of us are our very own personalized brand of screwed up. Some, more than others. Our hang-ups, our insecurities, our flaws. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Me, I'm not an even-tempered person. You could even call me short-tempered. You definitely could, actually. I'm prone to frequent fits of irritation. What sets it off? Could be anything. It could be my mother and sister laughing at something silly I did, it could be me feeling resentful about an opportunistic person trying to take advantage or hell, it could be the fact that I can't eat what I want at a bakery because someone ordered the last piece. I can be so incredibly immature, I surprise myself. I wonder how people put up with me and stick around. It can't be easy, considering I'm quite the Mount Vesuvius (flared nostrils, screechy voice; the whole shebang.) I try, I really do. I try not to lose my head. But then when my temper is triggered off, I cant stop it. It's like the rational part of me is telling me,"Shut up, you're making a scene and embarrassing yourself". But the damage is done. I'm like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Honestly, I wonder if I should go for counselling sometimes. I think back on all my temper tantrums and I want to curl up in a ball in a dark room because I feel so embarrassed. 

So what is my personalized brand of screwed-up? A short fuse in my brain that leaves destruction in its wake? A lack of empathy that I display every time I push myself off the edge? I guess I'm still figuring that out.

I wrote the beginning of this post a while ago. So I dont know with what intentions I wrote it. And I went off on my own tangent today. Sorry :P