One Year Later

When I finished writing my previous post, I realized that I had not posted anything in lieu of International Women's Day. That's practically blasphemy in my book. Last year I had written this post just after I had watched the BBC documentary 'India's Daughter' and my blood was boiling. Even the memory makes me grind my teeth. But I don't want this post to be about that. I do not want this post to be about the atrocities and injustice the fairer sex is faced with. I want this post to be as positive as possible. 

As cliched as it might sound, I think most of us girls these day are pretty badass. Sure, most of us have not faced real adversity. But we have experienced people judging us just because we are women, however subtle it might be. Be it not being allowed to enter the prayer room or touching the pickle when menstruating or asking to go to a late night concert unescorted (I know that we live in unsafe times. But shouldn't measures be taken to remove the people who make these times uncertain and unsafe? Why should we be punished for not doing anything?), or even going out alone with a boy (WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY??). Translating a famous Bollywood song- People will talk. They have no other work. The only way to stop people from talking, is to stop judging others ourselves. We are the main culprits, the perpetrators. A girl walks in wearing a tight dress; it is on the tips of our tongues to say that she looks so vulgar and cheap. How is that kind of violent language acceptable? And yet, we cringe when someone says the same thing about us? Women can be their own worst enemies. And there is nothing more despicable than a woman who doesn't stand up for her own gender. However, despite all the judgement and criticism (from both genders), we have managed to do pretty well for ourselves, I think. We have a long way to go here in India. But there has been progress. We no longer shrink into a corner when intimidated. We no longer behave like doormats. More and more women are becoming financially independent. We now have the courage to use our voice. We are still afraid, but we know we are not alone. We are slowly realizing how powerful we truly are and we are fighting for what we want.It's an uphill battle, but we'll get there someday.

Becoming A Dragon Slayer

Honestly, sometimes I wish the world would end. It seems to get uglier every single day. This report about ISIS executing 19 women for refusing to be their sex slaves is truly horrifying. They were executed for refusing to indulge in sexual jihad, which, according to Wikipedia is-

"Sexual jihad (Arabic: جهاد النكاح‎, jihad al-nikah) is a controversial practice of women within some Wahhabist groups who are allegedly voluntarily offering themselves in sexual comfort roles to men fighting for the establishment of Islamic rule."

Not only this, a translated ISIS pamphlet was found to be a rate card for prices of Yazidi or Christian women of different age groups-ranging from $43 to $172. The women can be as old as 40-50 or even as young as 1-9. How depraved, how evil do you have to be? What has happened to the world? That we have sunk to such a level that we've basically become the dregs of society? How sick do you have to be to even consider such an idea? The tragedy is that even though most of us will shake our heads in horror and disgust, we aren't really surprised with it. The zillions of reports of rapes, of child abuse on the news has gotten us accustomed to the idea that there are sick perverts in the world. What do we do about it? What can we do about it? The futility of my question bothers me.
There has to be a solution to this. If it were up to me, I'd probably mace them and then set a pack of hungry wild dogs loose on them. But then, we can't take justice into our own hands. If Hell exists, there is a special space reserved just for the sick, perverted, convoluted minds that seem to be growing by the day.
The fact that there is a market where people can be bought and sold for a listed price, makes me want to gag in horror. What is it with the need to dominate, the need to assert one's supremacy, the need to have absolute control over another human being? Why is it that we are so helpless? Forget about protecting others, we are unable to protect ourselves from any kind of threat. We know nothing about self-defense. And the one thing we do have? Our voices? We don't take any advantage of the gift of communication that all is have been blessed with. And the ones who do, meet fates like those poor young women. Its enough to frighten anyone. But should we stop? Just because we are afraid, we shouldn't stand up for what's right? We shouldn't fight for the legacy Nirbhaya left behind? That brave, young girl with a promising future; she could have been any one of us. Her life changed forever in just a matter of minutes. What truly set her apart? The fact that she fought with the courage of a soldier at war till her very last breath. All of us have it within us, the strength to fight for what's right. It's up to us to look within and find the grit that will help us stand up for what we believe in and fight against what we think is evil. We love fairytales, don't we? The Prince slays the dragon and saves the princess? Well, why don't we become the dragon slayers ourselves and protect what we hold sacred? No harm trying, right?

India's Daughter

On the 16th of December, 2012, a young woman, on her way home after watching a movie with a friend, was brutally gang-raped and beaten and died after fighting a brave battle. In lieu of 8th of March, which is International Women's Day, a documentary was made talking about the incident. I watched it today. BBC released it on YouTube for the world to see as it isn't going to be aired in India.
Rape. Its such an ugly word, isn't it? It sends shivers down your spine; you close your eyes trying to un-see; you cover your ears hoping to un-hear. You want to block it all out. Because its such a taboo subject. Once you've been raped, you've met a fate far worse than death. That's what we've been made to believe. But when the Nirbhaya incident occurred, it sent the country into a rage. It was like we'd finally had enough. How much longer could we stand by and let rapes go unreported? How much longer can we be made to endure the chauvinistic, masochistic mindset of the majority of the country? In the documentary, one of the rapists was interviewed. He said that the girl had absolutely no right to be out that late. They also interviewed the lawyers of the rapists. Their words shocked me to the very core of my being.
Saying that women were not a part of Indian culture, that it was women who led men astray; that she deserved what she got. These are educated men. No different from most of us on paper. And this is what they believe? Isn't the thought absolutely frightening? It makes you wonder what your next door neighbour thinks of you.
The thing that saddened me most about the documentary is when they interviewed one of the rapists' wife. She was in complete denial. And while talking about their death sentence, she kept saying that, "I now have nobody to look after me. I can't look after myself. And my son? He's so little. He doesn't even know anything. Its better if I just strangle him to death." How? How can she even think that?
That's exactly what we need to change. The way we are trained to think. Women aren't weak. We aren't in constant need of protection. We aren't the damsels in distress. We CAN take care of ourselves and we SHOULD! Why should we have to rely on our boyfriends or our friends or our brothers to protect us from all that is evil? First, we need to learn to protect ourselves. Whether its through learning self defence or carrying a pepper spray. But the first thing we need to do is stop turning our eyes away when we hear obscene comments about our bodies, about our clothes, as we walk on the road, as we wait at a bus stop. We need to look them straight in the eyes and tell them exactly what we think. Create a scene. Call a cop. Let them endure the humiliation all of us have suffered through through no fault of our own.
We, as a country, need to stop blaming women. Its not because of our clothes, its not because of the way we look, its not because we're out alone, its not because we're out after dark, its because the bastards think they can get away with it. Its because they believe that its their right to teach women a lesson. Its because they're frustrated and want to assert their male dominance somehow. Well, I've had enough. Haven't you?