You'd think that it would be pretty easy if all you had to do was ask. But therein lies the problem. Most of us don't know how, or rather, are afraid to ask. An employee doesn't know how to ask his boss for a raise. A student is afraid to ask his teacher a question, at the risk of sounding stupid to the class. Why are we so frightened of asking? Because we are afraid the answer will be no. Or the answer will be humiliating. Or both even. We'd rather simmer with resentment at not getting our due, than actually working up the courage to take a step forward and grabbing what we want. It's what differentiates the haves and the have-nots. The "haves" aren't afraid of refusal. They see it as a challenge. They work around it. Find a way. Whereas, the "have-nots" simply take the easy way out by not doing anything, by not saying anything.
How can one word have that much power? That people don't even want to take a risk? At the end of the day, it's just a word. We say it all the time. We say it to admonish little children when they ask for dessert before dinner. We click on it when browsing the internet to shut down a pop-up. We say it to overzealous salesmen at malls. If we use it all the time, why are we so afraid of being at the receiving end? How can we presume that the answer will be no? We're underestimating the person we have to ask. We're underestimating our own needs, underestimating ourselves. Sure, the answer can be no. But that doesn't mean it'll always be no. You have to believe you deserve it. Because if you don't, you'll never get it. Don't be afraid to ask. It's harmless. What can they say? No? It could also be yes. Is that a risk you're willing to take?