I've been mocked quite a bit about the fact that I've never had a boyfriend. People (some girls, rather) look at me as though I've escaped from an asylum, when I repeatedly explain that I've never been in a 'relationship'. Now, I can imagine the look on my mom's face when she reads this and then I will have to listen to her and my sister psychoanalyzing me and my curious head. I can't say that their comments didn't affect me. Of course they did. Most people don't realize how strong words can be. That's probably why the morons of the world never shut up. I felt bad, sure. I thought to myself,"Is there something wrong with me?"
But then I thought, the hopeless romantic that I am, I've never been in love either. The irony.
I'm in love with the idea of falling in love. And frankly, I've never met anyone who makes me feel that way. Giddy with happiness. Butterflies in my stomach. I imagine myself dancing the night away with a faceless person. Nobody has managed to become that face as yet. And I'm happy about that. I'm still a kid in many ways. I have my temper tantrums. It takes little to annoy me. The overdramatizing of trivial problems between the boy and the girl baffle me. The little mind games my gender sometimes play disturb me. When I fall in love; real love, not a character on a show or in a novel; I want it to be real. I don't want to have to feel a compulsion to keep him on a short leash, like he's a dog and not my boyfriend. I believe that when it's right, it'll feel right. Everything won't magically fall into place-there will be bumps along the way, but it will be magical. And a writer once said,"You don't love because, you love in spite ". However crazy I might be sounding, I want someone to love me with all my flaws, because I don't believe anyone can truly be in love if there isn't complete and utter acceptance of the object of affection. I don't need someone to enumerate the things they love about me. I need someone who will still love me even when I'm, as my mom so aptly puts it, shrieking like a banshee.
It'll happen when it'll happen. To sound completely cliche, the stars might just align themselves one day, and my life might never be the same. I sincerely hope my mom doesn't make a big deal out of this. I can already hear her laughing at my idealistic and mostly corny view of things.
But then I thought, the hopeless romantic that I am, I've never been in love either. The irony.
I'm in love with the idea of falling in love. And frankly, I've never met anyone who makes me feel that way. Giddy with happiness. Butterflies in my stomach. I imagine myself dancing the night away with a faceless person. Nobody has managed to become that face as yet. And I'm happy about that. I'm still a kid in many ways. I have my temper tantrums. It takes little to annoy me. The overdramatizing of trivial problems between the boy and the girl baffle me. The little mind games my gender sometimes play disturb me. When I fall in love; real love, not a character on a show or in a novel; I want it to be real. I don't want to have to feel a compulsion to keep him on a short leash, like he's a dog and not my boyfriend. I believe that when it's right, it'll feel right. Everything won't magically fall into place-there will be bumps along the way, but it will be magical. And a writer once said,"You don't love because, you love in spite ". However crazy I might be sounding, I want someone to love me with all my flaws, because I don't believe anyone can truly be in love if there isn't complete and utter acceptance of the object of affection. I don't need someone to enumerate the things they love about me. I need someone who will still love me even when I'm, as my mom so aptly puts it, shrieking like a banshee.
It'll happen when it'll happen. To sound completely cliche, the stars might just align themselves one day, and my life might never be the same. I sincerely hope my mom doesn't make a big deal out of this. I can already hear her laughing at my idealistic and mostly corny view of things.
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