A Letter To Oneself

Hey! You there in the mirror! Who are you? You sure look like me, but you don't seem insecure. You look confident. You don't look like you're worried about the little flab you have around your waist. You look like a girl who knows she's attractive, not one who wants to slip back into your shorts and baggy t-shirts
Its a scary world out there, you know? Full of treachery and heartbreak. You'll find happiness, you'll find friends, but you will also find betrayal and pain. Don't let that ruin your smile. Don't let that silence your laugh. Your eyes that sparkle with hope and promise of what might be waiting for you; don't let them dim. Don't pay any heed to people who try to make you feel bad about yourself, about your body, about your mind. Remember, you can't be made to feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt said that. And don't you ever forget that.
No one knows you the way you know yourself. And always remember to love yourself. Stroke your ego a little. It never harmed anybody. Don't forget to smile. Cry too, but most of the time, smile. So remember, keep your eyes sparkling, your smile bright and your laugh contagious.

The Girl Who Never Wanted To Grow Up

I've grown up listening to fairy tales. Not just listening, watching the movies repeatedly. So much so, that I knew the lyrics to every song. I knew every line before it was spoken. I always loved the stories of the princesses and the concept of love at first sight. But my absolute favourite, the one I identified with, was Peter Pan-the boy who never wanted to grow up. What an utterly brilliant idea. Being an adult isn't at all what we thought it would be when we were kids. You really can't do what you want. You have bills to pay, you have a family to take care of, you have to work hard to earn your keep.
Whereas, being a kid is amazing. Sure, you do have to follow some rules, but most of the time you're allowed to run free. When you screw up, its okay; you're just a kid and you'll learn one day. When you're a kid, you don't realise how lucky you are. You're always complaining about some restriction or the other. What kids don't get is, adults have way more restrictions and responsibilities than we do. They can't up and run for the hills when the going gets hard. They have to stick around and fight the battle. When you're an adult, you can't walk away from your family, from your job. All of a sudden, its not just about YOU. Its about everyone in your immediate circle. You're no longer allowed to make severe mistakes. You're no longer allowed to throw tantrums and create scenes without looking like a complete moron.
I wish I could be like Peter Pan. I would be the girl who never wanted to grow up. I can't seem to think of a name for myself. But Neverland seems like a nice place to live. And if I never grow up I'll never have to worry about grown up things. Its like we shed our carefree selves once we enter the world of adults. The worry becomes second skin. Whether its worry about how you're doing your job, or its worry about how your child is doing in school, the problems are endless. Worrying is part of being an adult. I guess its because the adults worry on behalf of the kids. They take on the children's share of worry so that the kids can have the time of their lives. Mighty kind of them, isn't it? But then, they are the adults.

Demanding To Be Felt

I have never lost someone truly dear to me. Whether it is a blessing or not, I can't tell. Just recently, tragedy struck one of my friends. Her eight year old cousin passed away after a long illness. So young. We forget how fickle fate is. It giveth and it taketh away. All of us think we have all the time in the world to fulfill our dreams. When the opportunity strikes, we look away thinking it isn't the right time. And tragically, we get a brutal reminder of our mortality which bursts that happy bubble we've created for ourselves. What we don't understand is, that it is the nature of the bubble to pop; and a life without pain is incomplete. Pain and loss are an inherent part of our souls. If we can't feel those emotions, it renders us inhuman. It pains us to hear of children losing their innocence because of the things they have seen. It hurts us when we hear of a young child dying before his or her time. These emotions come naturally to us. They can't be taught.
Giving into these emotions isn't weakness. Shedding tears over someone else's tragedy isn't stupidity, it's compassion. It's a sign that there is hope for us still. In a book I'm reading,'The Inheritance of Loss', the protagonist while pondering, rhetorically asks herself if fulfillment could ever be felt as deeply as loss. Our ability to feel loss is a prerequisite for our ability to feel happiness. Because, how does one know what happiness is if they haven't experienced pain and loss in one way or another? How does one know the exquisite pleasure of a good long laugh, if they haven't wept until no more tears will come out? How does one understand the true meaning of friendship, if they haven't felt the sear of betrayal? Without pain,there isn't understanding. We bond over pain; over grief. It binds people together, doesn't alienate them. With pain, we sometimes find grit and courage. The grit to see it the whole way through and the courage to get back up even if it feels like the walls are closing in on you. Pain and loss doesn't change you, it reveals who you really are. It's a test of your character, of your humanity. You can either give up all hope and call it a day, or you can show your strength in times of adversity. We're all built tougher than we think. We just have to look within. If there truly is a God, I highly doubt he would give us more pain and loss than we could possibly bear. You can't run from pain and loss, it'll catch up. Nor can you succumb to it. You have to accept it. Treat it as part of yourself; just as the good memories are a part of you, so are the bad. John Green said that pain demands to be felt. It scorches, but it eventually heals. Pain is what makes us who we are. Pain is what invites compassion and redemption. Pain is almost like a universal language. All of us can identify with it. It unites us.