Search This Blog

Friday, 10 October 2014

Demanding To Be Felt

I have never lost someone truly dear to me. Whether it is a blessing or not, I can't tell. Just recently, tragedy struck one of my friends. Her eight year old cousin passed away after a long illness. So young. We forget how fickle fate is. It giveth and it taketh away. All of us think we have all the time in the world to fulfill our dreams. When the opportunity strikes, we look away thinking it isn't the right time. And tragically, we get a brutal reminder of our mortality which bursts that happy bubble we've created for ourselves. What we don't understand is, that it is the nature of the bubble to pop; and a life without pain is incomplete. Pain and loss are an inherent part of our souls. If we can't feel those emotions, it renders us inhuman. It pains us to hear of children losing their innocence because of the things they have seen. It hurts us when we hear of a young child dying before his or her time. These emotions come naturally to us. They can't be taught.
Giving into these emotions isn't weakness. Shedding tears over someone else's tragedy isn't stupidity, it's compassion. It's a sign that there is hope for us still. In a book I'm reading,'The Inheritance of Loss', the protagonist while pondering, rhetorically asks herself if fulfillment could ever be felt as deeply as loss. Our ability to feel loss is a prerequisite for our ability to feel happiness. Because, how does one know what happiness is if they haven't experienced pain and loss in one way or another? How does one know the exquisite pleasure of a good long laugh, if they haven't wept until no more tears will come out? How does one understand the true meaning of friendship, if they haven't felt the sear of betrayal? Without pain,there isn't understanding. We bond over pain; over grief. It binds people together, doesn't alienate them. With pain, we sometimes find grit and courage. The grit to see it the whole way through and the courage to get back up even if it feels like the walls are closing in on you. Pain and loss doesn't change you, it reveals who you really are. It's a test of your character, of your humanity. You can either give up all hope and call it a day, or you can show your strength in times of adversity. We're all built tougher than we think. We just have to look within. If there truly is a God, I highly doubt he would give us more pain and loss than we could possibly bear. You can't run from pain and loss, it'll catch up. Nor can you succumb to it. You have to accept it. Treat it as part of yourself; just as the good memories are a part of you, so are the bad. John Green said that pain demands to be felt. It scorches, but it eventually heals. Pain is what makes us who we are. Pain is what invites compassion and redemption. Pain is almost like a universal language. All of us can identify with it. It unites us.

1 comment: