Flirting 101

Today, I exclaimed to my mom about how I cannot flirt to save my life. Literally, even if there was a gun to my head, I would not be able to flirt with anyone. I just cannot imagine batting my eyelashes and twirling a lock of my hair. I'm one of those people who goes red in the face and starts talking absolute bullsh*t when I like someone. I cannot flirt. It is physically impossible. Like a lot of conversations with my mom which start out innocently enough, this one turned into a monologue about how I can improve myself. My mom says that the reason for my ineptness at flirting is because I'm never myself around the opposite sex. She says and I quote, I'm in a constant state of hyperactivity around boys which turns them off. I don't ever relax and show them the "real me". I can't even fathom how lame I am that I'm actually taking flirting tips from mother dearest. Anyway, she continued by saying that I let out this force of negative energy around most people, which also isn't very attractive. Because who really wants more negativity in their lives? I must clarify, I'm not a bundle of negativity all the time. In college, I'm a ray of sunshine (which my mom says, is the reason I have so many friends). With most people, I close myself off, putting up an invisible wall because I'm afraid they won't like me for me. I start to pretend to be someone else and it all becomes a vicious circle. I'm afraid they will mock me for being a nerd and a dork and I cease to be comfortable in my own skin. My mom says that there's only one rule in flirting- be authentic. Any fool can spot a phoney from a mile away. So let's see, I'll give my flirting skills a shot the next time I spot a cute guy. And who knows, maybe he will be unable to resist my goofy charms!