The Help

Have any of you watched the movie 'The Help'? Its based on the book of the same name by Kathryn Stockett. It takes place during the civil rights movement that took place in America during the 1960's and speaks of three women who are extraordinary in their own way- Aibileen Clark, Minny Jackson and Eugene 'Skeeter' Phelan. Skeeter, an aspiring writer, is a young woman who returns home to Jackson, Mississippi after graduating from Ole Miss. She finds that her beloved childhood maid Constantine has quit, and cannot get over the fact that she didn't write to her before leaving. All her friends are married and having kids and she dreams of having a career as an author. She gets a job as a columnist about home-making in the local paper. She asks her friend Elizabeth's maid Aibileen for help, and is uncomfortable about the way her friends treat the household help. Like they don't have feelings, like they aren't human. This inspires her to write a book based on the lives of maids who have spent their entire lives taking care of white children.

'The Help' is true to its name. It gives you so much insight into other people, into ourselves. It helps us understand how inhuman we can be. These African-American women, spend their lives feeding, bathing and dressing other people's children, and those children grow up prejudiced against the women who actually brought them up. Every morning, Aibileen comes to her employer, Elizabeth Leefolt's house and wakes up her daughter Mae. She tells her this mantra everyday, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important", because her mom couldn't be bothered with her. These women love these kids like they do their own flesh and blood, and probably even more than their own parents and they end up being treated worse than the dirt on one's shoes. It requires a huge heart to love someone else's kid, especially when that someone treats you like you have a disease. How is it human to treat someone like they are not even real people? Humanity isn't a human instinct. Before being accused of plagiarism, let me tell you my mother said that.

The sad part is, that we, in India, don't treat our help any better even now. Most of us treat them like they don't have a life of their own. Forget about the way we treat our servants, what about our caste system? We decided that some people in the society weren't even worth speaking to, forget about that we thought we shouldn't even touch them. 'The Help' is a mirror to all of us. It shows us that all of us are capable of cruelty if we want to be. All of us want to feel superior to someone else, even if we hate to admit it. Deep down, we do. Its a part of us that most of try not to show, but it comes out in different ways. 

I never forgot the way Aibileen speaks to Mae Mobley. She was a little girl who was never told that she was pretty, never carried around by anyone other than the maid, never loved. That too is a kind of discrimination. Not being loved because she just wasn't pretty? She was a little girl! All little girls should be told that they're pretty, no matter what. I have to admit, watching this movie, moved me, touched me, and made me want to become a better person!

Biology is Not Destiny

As I write this I'm watching 'We the People' where the debate is about whether Indian women are combating bias in the armed forces. I honestly don't understand why most people think that women aren't brave enough to join the army or the navy or the air force. Women are capable of more courage than anyone. How does a country progress when its women are facing discrimination? How exactly does Finance Minister Chidambaram expect to end gender discrimination by just allocating 200 crores in the budget. Is that going to change the mindset of men? Forget about men, is it going to change the mindset of mother-in-laws? I frankly think that the mother-in-laws are the absolute worst! Most of them are under the delusion that just because they gave birth to sons, they are somehow superior. They feel like they have every right to subject the daughter-in-law to a life of slavery. They feel they have every right to make her cook an entire meal when she's recovering from an illness. They feel they have every right to decide what the girl wants to do with her life. How many cases of abuse, both mental and physical goes unreported every year in India? Why do people in India still believe that a woman's job is to cook good food, wash the clothes and be the perfect hostess? Anything else, she's called aggressive and over-ambitious. We may say that people's mindset is changing. But is it really true? Would a man willingly stay home with the kids, do the cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping? Or would he predictably think its beneath him?
Just because you're a girl, it can't determine what you do with your life. I don't think I'll ever stand being written off just because I'm a woman. If anything, we should be respected more because we are women! At the risk of sounding conceited, what makes men better than us? I mean, we can do what they do. Actually, we do it better than them most of the time! I resent the fact that some men assume that as soon as a woman has a baby, she is duty-bound to quit her job and devote all her time to taking care of her child. Not that I'm saying its a bad thing if a woman wants to spend time with her child, but the man will not consider it for a second, because the man is the apparent breadwinner, isn't it? God! When will men stop being the sexist, chauvinistic pigs that they have been since the beginning of time?

Lessons Learnt From A Chick Lit

Hmm... I don't think I've gone on such a long break before.. What does one do when suffering from writer's block? I started to write two posts, left both halfway! And I plan on making writing my career! Jolly good, isn't it? I hate writing bad stuff! Mostly because my mom gives me a hard time time about it but also because I feel unsatisfied with a bad post...  I haven't been reading much for the past few days, other than the occasional chick lit! People may call it trashy, but I don't think there's anything wrong with reading for pleasure. I mean what's the point of reading at all, if you aren't getting any pleasure out of it? I also think that if one doesn't get pleasure from what he/she reads, he/she don't even learn anything. Because it's only when you derive pleasure from something are you willing to learn from it. I don't understand the people who only read Malcolm Gladwell and then act as if they're superior to the ones who love books like Harry Potter.

There's always a lesson to learn from everything. From Lord of Rings, you learn that size is no estimation of power and that if you have friends all burdens are easier to bear. From Harry Potter you learn, that love is the strongest power in the world. From To Kill A Mockingbird you learn that you never really know anyone unless you step into their shoes and walk around in them. What my point is, is that every book, every film, is trying to send out a message! I think the message that chick lits send out is to never lose faith in true love. Because once you do, your view of the world turns a little jaded. It's my opinion! I love chick lits because it's nice to just get absorbed into the happening lives of young women, a lot like us in many ways and watch them find their soulmate! I love books, so I tend to speak of them very often! Don't mind me! This post is repititive, I know! But I just couldn't think of what to write!

The Loss of Individuality

Today in class, we started a poem by John Keats-'Ode on a Grecian Urn'; or rather, we were given an introduction to the times it was written in. My teacher spoke of how poets and artists were inspired by nature and that as nature was perfect, anything derived from it was also perfect. They also thought of the Greek and Roman eras as perfect. Implying that, all technological progress has brought is discontent and unhappiness in everyone's lives. That was the sentence that struck me. Not only has technological progress created discontent, it has also destroyed creativity. Its like life has become easier, so mankind has ceased to imagine!
I mean, look at it! When there were no facilities, no fancy machinery, only human labour; beautiful buildings like the Taj Mahal, the Notre Dame, the Sagrada Famiglia (although incomplete, incredibly beautiful), the pyramids in Egypt and countless other monuments that we see!
Now we have world-class technology and all we can create are the ugly skyscrapers and malls that we see popping up everywhere! Maybe that's it. When you don't have a lot, you appreciate beauty, and when you do, you pretend to! It's all part of the social status, isn't it? To appreciate Mozart's music, admire a Monet or a Renoir? What are the odds that those very people would not be able to differentiate between Mozart and an ordinary musician? I'm guessing they would be incredibly high.
People love to show that they are spiritual and cultured. That's the key word-show! The moment we start worrying about what other people think off, we cease to think and enjoy for own pleasure. So what if you don't think Picasso is brilliant? So what if you don't understand the works of Stephen Sondheim? Most people don't! At least you have the guts to admit it! We don't live to impress anybody. Nor do we live to conform to anyone else's ideas? We do live for others, but we aren't expected to change to suit their needs. The sad part is, most people already know of all this, but are afraid to raise their voice, afraid to be even a slightly bit different, lest they should be mocked. Brilliant world we live in, don't we? Liberty, Equality and Fraternity indeed!

The Repurcussions of a Quick Temper!

According to my mum, I deserve a huge set of kicks! She says that I lose my temper too often and she says, and I quote, "You storm around the house with a blood pressure of 190!". According to her, when I throw my tantrums, I look like a woman that should be locked up in the madhouse. I do agree that I tend to get a little extreme, and I am short-tempered at times, but what can one do, when being constantly poked by a toothpick? Or being constantly interrupted while exercising, or updating my blog?
She says that in spite of all this I should maintain a sweet and kind demeanour! That no matter what, a lady should always be a lady! Both she and my dear sister know exactly how to get under my skin. And they exploit it every opportunity they get! I know its foolish that I let it get to me, considering I've been hearing it for years and I should have learnt how to respond in a grown-up way by now. But my temper always gets the better of me! I'm writing this right now because my mom just told me off for snapping at her as I was updating my blog! As its fresh in my mind, and I can't think of anything else, I decided to write this! She says I'll chase off anyone who is wants to be my friend, with my shrill voice! Quite a frightening prospect, but intriguing nonetheless! Nonetheless! That's another word that bugs her! She thinks me using it in an argument is preposterous and pretentious and downright impudent! I didn't mean to come across as impudent! I just said it! My mom, although an incredibly interesting person to chat with, has her quirks! Like, she loves to entertain herself by calling me incredibly mushy and nonsensical names just to see my reaction! And then both she and my sister fall into peals of laughter about it! But she reverts to angry as quickly as she is playful. Like right now she is telling me, that after my sister has gone off to college, there isn't anyone who can whip me into shape and thus, I have gone totally wild! I wonder what she will say when she reads this... I think she'll probably be torn between a desire to flick me on the head and and call my sister and talk about my nuttiness!

The Writings of Nicholas Sparks!

Nicholas Sparks, I think is the author version of Bollywood film director Yash Chopra, who basically defined romance in India. His books are all about everlasting, undying love, be it for a person, or for the idea of a person. The only difference is that all Nicholas Sparks books don't end with the much awaited 'happily ever-after' that the good old Yash Chopra films never fail to give us! Although his books don't always end with the boy and girl riding off into the sunset with each other (metaphorically, of course!), they always leave you with the hope that love like that exists. Love that exceeds boundaries and time but never ceases. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I love his books!
He fills you up with hope that boys, or shall I say, men like that truly exist. Faithful, loyal, brave, devoted, chivalrous and also incredibly good-looking! Some may say that I've basically described a dog. But aren't dogs one of the best partners to have? What's wrong with wanting all those qualities in a man too? I don't care if they think its degrading or the characters in the books are just plain boring! Maybe a tad bit unrealistic, yeah, but not boring! His books for me are an escape to a world of beautiful, kind people who are madly in love with each other, and who again and again prove to us that love can overcome any obstacle!
That's what Nicholas Sparks' writing represents to me. Guaranteed pleasure, and maybe a few tears thrown in! What's wrong with wanting to live in the world of fantasies a little longer? If anything, it prevents you from becoming disillusioned and cynical? And maybe, even a little happier than the rest of the world!

Facades..

Hello there! I've currently been re-reading 'The Lords of Discipline' by Pat Conroy about a military academy in Charleston, South Carolina. It depicts the lives of four young cadets at the academy. The initial hazing, the debates on war and most of all, the friendship. The friendship that can survive anything. And I realized that no matter how many times you read it, you never fail to laugh and to cry and, in my case at least, learn how to be a better person. It also show the facades maintained at so many levels in society. The hazing is an excuse for the cadets to work off their frustration, find an outlet for their perverted desires.
On a more positive note, he doesn't fail to show us the beauty, that manages to thrive, in spite of such adversity. Also the description of Charleston, South Carolina... my oh my! It sounds like paradise to me! Pat Conroy, through the narrator, Will McLean, described it perfectly. Here goes...

Charleston has a landscape that encourages intimacy and partisanship. I have heard it said that an inoculation to the sights and smells of the Carolina lowcountry is an almost irreversible antidote to the charms of other landscapes, other alien geographies. You can be moved profoundly by other vistas, by other oceans, by soaring mountain ranges, but you can never be seduced. You can even forsake the lowcountry, renounce it for other climates, but you can never completely escape the sensuous, semitropical pull of Charleston and her marshes.” 

And one quote in particular stood out for me. I don't know why but it just did.

"Observers have described Charlestonians as vainglorious, obstinate, mercurial, verbose, xenophobic, and congenitally gracious. Most of all they elude facile description, but they do possess a municipal character that has a lot to do with two centuries of scriptural belief that they are simply superior to the other people of the earth. If you do not subscribe to this theory, or are even offended by it, well, it simply means you are not a Charlestonian."

What an accurate description of the people from one of the most beautiful parts of the world! The South has such a glorious and even tragic past... Charleston has an old world charm that has somehow been carried away by the wind. Although there is an ugly side to it, it is nice sometimes not to look beyond the facade of a modern day Utopia! The facade that hides the white supremacy. The facade that hides racism that is so prevalent.
The Irish are born storytellers... And the sad part is, that this book is actually telling us the truth. There isn't any sugar coating! None at all. The torture that the freshmen, or as they are called in military academies, plebes, go through? I think of it as a fate worse than death. It's brutal, sadistic, and completely unnecessary! And even sadder, the plebes who get tortured, the next year, they do it to their juniors! What kind of learning is that? It's meant to toughen you up, but honestly all I think it does is that it destroys the human instinct in a person to feel compassion and guilt at the hell that they are putting their fellow comrades... Maybe it works. Maybe it makes them tough enough to fight a war for their country. But is taking away their humanity okay? Is it okay for someone to feel good at seeing someone else's pain? Is that the kind of person these so-called honour-based schools that have the audacity to maintain the facade that they create "REAL MEN"? Where a student is expelled from school by borrowing some fuel from his friend's car? And not only that, he's made to walk out of school in front of everybody.. the so-called Walk of Shame, to degrade him, humiliate him, drive him to suicide because he feels he has committed an unforgivable sin? That is not okay! 
How can it be considered acceptable? They aren't being tortured just physically, but mentally also. What sets us apart from animals? The sheer fact that we have compassion, that we think first of others, then ourselves? Is that what this "Institute" is turning men into? Mere savage animals? All the while  keeping up the pretense one of the strongest men in the world. Strength isn't defined by brawn. It's defined by people who have the courage to face the truth .  The characters of Will McLean, Tradd St. Croix, Dante Pignetti and Mark Santoro, aren't just characters. They are living, breathing people. And their story is one you will never forget.